Congratulations! You’ve decided to move to the Carolinas! Now the fun begins…
Since moving is listed as one of life’s major stress factors, doing your homework and planning ahead can dramatically help take the edge off feelings of anxiety, overwhelm and the “deer in the headlights” paralysis that often arises.
The following 10 steps are designed to help you keep your sanity before, during and after your move, and to ensure that your move and relocation will be as smooth and easy as possible.
1. Create a timeline for getting things done now! The further away on the calendar your move is, the less stress you are likely to be feeling. You may even be in denial that your move is actually going to happen! Yet now is the time to create your plan. Don’t put things off, thereby creating unnecessary stress for yourself. By what date do you want to see yourself in your new home with everything set up for you to begin your new life? What are all the steps that need to happen to reach this point and by when? Jot down each thing you need to do with a due date, allowing ample time to set up each. For example, you may need months for your new insurance plan to take effect, but just a day to have your electricity working.
- Include steps for closure in your current place. Examples on the physical level can include: selling or renting out your house, getting medical records from your physician and dentist, ending your gym membership, changing your address, and ending your newspaper subscription. It’s very important to get closure on the emotional level also. Take time for that party to say goodbye to work buddies, and spend time with friends and family. It’s natural to start feeling separation anxiety before you move. What happens to many people is they become so busy with the logistics of the move, they don’t feel the sadness or loneliness until weeks or months after they’ve arrived in their new destination. To help ease this, get out your calendar and schedule future visits with loved ones before you leave. Discuss expectations for staying in touch and come up with a plan.
- Decide on housing for your new place. Do you want to buy a home right away or rent for a year? If you want to buy a home, do you want to stay in a short-term residential hotel for a month while looking, or make a couple of trips from you current location and buy a place before moving?
- List everything you need to learn about in your new location. This includes: housing (including getting pre-qualified for a mortgage and choosing a realtor if you’re buying a home), shopping, healthcare and emergencies, banking, post offices, schools, DMV locations, child care, pet care, veterinarians, safety and security, car care, places of religious/spiritual worship, and public transportation.
2. Weed out, weed out, and weed out! Get rid of anything you are not going to use in your new home. Sell it in a garage sale, or give it to a friend, or a charity like Goodwill. Moving companies charge you on the basis of weight and distance. That’s why it’s important to bring only what you really want and are going to use to your new home. Another reason to weed out before you move is to free up emotional and mental energy and create physical space, which will greatly reduce any feelings of stress and overwhelm. In her book Clear Your Clutter with Feng Shui, Karen Kingston includes “The Clutter Test” (p. 122) where she advises that when you look at any item you ask yourself, “Does this uplift my energy when I think about it or look at it?” If it doesn’t, let it go. If it does, ask yourself, “Do I absolutely love it?” If yes, keep it. If no, ask yourself, “Is it genuinely useful?” If yes, keep it, if no, let it go.
3. Hire a reputable realtor you LIKE. Look for a realtor through friends, contacts, and realtors in your current area who can refer you to a good realtor in your new area. Don’t just call Shady Sam at the 800# on your new town’s highway billboard. Hire someone you like, respect and trust. They should be reliable, listen to what you want and care about your needs. They should be honest and make you feel like you’re a top priority. A good realtor will also have all the main information you need on setting up your new life, including a checklist of who to call and where to go to set up utilities and get a new driver’s license. Check Web sites of recommended realtors in your area. Call a few realtors to learn what services they provide. Do they give a “Welcome to the Area” packet for example?
4. Get clear on what you want in a new home if you are buying. Realtors are not mind readers. Communicate honestly and openly with your realtor so that you establish a good working partnership with them. Do research on the town and where you want to live. Do you want a new house in a new development, or a 1920s fixer-upper? Do you want to live in the hip condo downtown and not drive your car, or live in a suburb near the public middle school or on a piece of farmland by the airport? Be clear on the type and size of new home and neighborhood you want to live in, and how this may be affected by difference in cost of living between your current and new location. How much space will you need? What do you currently own that will fit -- both physically and aesthetically -- in your new space?
5. Hire a professional mover or move manager. A good mover can be found through friends, family, acquaintances and your realtor. You can also check with the Better Business Bureau (BBB) or local Chamber where you’re moving. Get references. Go with a major moving company that has offices in both your current and new town. Put value on your time. Moving takes a lot of this, and can wreak havoc on your peace of mind. Spend the money on a professional mover – not on “Joe the gypsy mover”. Your furniture might end up being sold in an alley in New York City. Hiring a mover is an investment, not an expense. Another option is to hire a move management company such as Consumers Relocation Services (www.consumersrelocation.com). Les Velte, the president said, “We can save the general consumer money while providing a consultant who coordinates their entire move. Our consultant conducts a needs analysis, gets quotes from three top movers who can best meet these needs, and negotiates the best deal for the consumer. Through us, the average consumer can get the same service a corporate transferee might get”. If you move yourself it will be exhausting, especially if you're starting new job. If you absolutely cannot afford to hire a mover, and you have several strong friends like Harry Helper who owns a truck or van, find out how you can bribe them to help you move. What could be a win/win solution?
6. Get the best coverage. Every mover should offer a type of coverage called “full value replacement coverage.” This is the one to get. Standard mover's liability is 60 cents per pound per article. This means that if something is worth $3000 and weighs 100 lbs and gets damaged, you get $60 to repair the piece. This is why replacement coverage is important. Also the moving company is only as good as the mover, and the best mover can have a bad day. Also check with your homeowner’s insurance representative to see if you’re covered for the move.
7. Pack smart. Yes you can do your own packing, but it’s so much easier if someone else does it. Weed out first!!!! Then hire a professional packer. It’s important to know that what they pack, they’re liable for. If you pack, you’re liable unless there’s outward damage to the box. Here are some other tips:
a. If money is an issue, hire a moving company to do a partial pack. A good combination is for you to pack those things that don’t break, such as Tupperware, books, linens, clothes, and have the moving company pack the breakables, which they’ll be liable for. Pack each box so tightly that when you pick it up and shake it, the contents don’t shift in the box.
b. Take the things that can’t be replaced with you: Bring them in your car or on the plane. These include important financial papers, family photos, love letters, special jewelry, etc.
c. Move furniture and large breakables carefully. A friend who was in the moving business for 20 years once told me, “Furniture’s not meant to be moved.” It’s very important that you note any scratches or dents on your furniture before your mover touches it. A good mover will go through your house, look at your furniture and note scratches or dings that are there ahead of time – because he doesn’t want to be responsible for it. Certain things needs to be crated, e. g. put in a custom built box, such as oil paintings, marble or glass tabletops.
8. Prepare your pets. Consult with your vet about pre and post move recommendations. If you’re taking Fido the dog and Fifi the cat on the plane, you need to find out airline regulations beforehand. Have all their check-ups and shots up to date before leaving to make it easier on yourself in the new location. Whether you’re flying or driving, moving is just as stressful for your furry kids as it is for your human ones.
9. Calm your kids. Moving can be especially traumatic for children, depending on their age and temperament. Make sure you communicate honestly and openly about what they can expect with your relocation and encourage them to express how they feel about the move including any concerns or fears they may have. Include them in the weeding out process (Step 2). Have them fill out an address book with their favorite people from the old neighborhood. Make sure they get to say goodbye to all their friends and family, and that they have their favorite toys, photos and games in the car or on the plane with them, so they’ll feel comfortable. Get them involved in making decisions they’re capable of, like the color they want for their new room. Try to create a routine in your new place as soon as possible. Contact the Chamber of Commerce for kid-friendly activities and events.
10. Handle your stress. When I’m coaching people who are relocating, invariably what comes up for most are questions on how to manage stress. One common issue is people not being able to sleep because their mind is racing with their “to do” list. Creating the “things to do” list with a timeline (Step 1) will help greatly with this. Another stress factor is feeling a lack of control. You are depending on people outside yourself to help make this move a success – possibly your employer, realtor, mover, home buyer or seller and spouse. Deal with what’s in your control and let go of the rest. It can help to ask yourself, “What’s the worst thing that can happen in this case?” And realize the world’s not going to end if the worst case happened (which it rarely does). Other than that, take care of yourself with plenty of rest (cat naps are great), nutritious food (lay off the McDonald’s), lots of water and regular exercise to keep your immune system strong and help you feel you can more easily handle whatever comes up. Finally, keep your sense of humor and focus on how wonderful it will feel to be settled in your new home, exploring your new area and creating new friendships and memories. Isn’t that what life is about?
Finally, here’s a Sample Moving Checklist to help give some order to your move. Place a checkmark before each task you’ve completed.
Getting ready for your move:
_____De-clutter. Get rid of anything you’re not taking.
_____Have a garage sale.
_____Bring old furniture and other items to Goodwill.
_____Find and hire a reputable moving company.
_____Make a copy of all important documents – driver’s license, social security card, passport, credit cards, etc. and give these to a family member for safekeeping.
_____Call the Chamber of Commerce of the city/town you’re relocating to and request they mail you a “relocation package.” This will have maps, demographic data, and information on services, events, schools, employment and retiree information.
_____Make sure your personal affairs are in order – wills, guardianship arrangements, etc.
_____Purchase resources for the move, including maps, guidebooks, etc.
_____Make the last doctor, dental, hair and other appointments.
_____Set dates to end subscription to newspaper, shut off utilities, etc.
_____Change your mailing address at the post office.
_____Plan time to say goodbye to family, friends and co-workers and come up with a plan for staying in touch once you’ve moved.
_____Buy clothes for the four seasons in North Carolina.
_____Let everyone you know where you’re moving, and if you don’t have a local contact where you’re going and want one, ask “Who knows anyone living in the area that I can contact?”
_____Research how and where to transfer your bank account.
_____Research online: schools, neighborhoods, apartment complexes, short-term residential living, and/or homes to buy, realtors.
_____Get your house ready to sell. Consider hiring a professional who specializes in “staging” your house to increase its visual appeal. Some interior designers and professional organizers do this and market their services through realtors. Then put your house on the market and sell it.
_____Pack your things!
Traveling to your new location:
_____Depending on your control issues, you may or may not want to keep an eye on the packers or the movers.
_____Plan your trip to the new location. If flying, confirm your flight, print boarding passes, pack, and include snacks for your kids, along with their favorite games. If driving, plan your route and make sure you have maps (AAA is great for this) and/or GPS; make hotel reservations if needed. Plan meals ahead of time. You may want to pack picnic lunches and put them in a cooler.
_____Take your sense of humor and sense of adventure with you, along with financial papers, journals, your address book, irreplaceable items such as special jewelry, gifts, photos, letters, cards, dentures, eye glasses; your child’s favorite blanket, stuffed animal, toy, photos, music, snacks.
You’ve arrived!
_____Take your time unpacking.
_____Get the lay of the land – If you haven’t already hired a realtor, meet with a few and learn who can help you not just find a good home, but can help you set up your new life.
_____Go to the Visitor’s Information Center for area information.
_____Find out the basics – where to buy groceries, good coffee, a local newspaper and gas. Learn where the pharmacy is, the Laundromat, the post office, and a few good restaurants.
_____Discover ways to connect with others: through your job, classes at a local college, church, neighborhood, events listed in the local paper, volunteer organizations, jogging or hiking clubs, dance classes, Toastmasters, yoga, coffee shops, and pubs.
_____Find out what the key newspapers are in your area for cultural, social and leisure activities you enjoy. Go to some events and meet the locals. Make goals of trying new things each week.
_____Have fun!
Helpful websites:
Consumer Relocation Services: http://www.consumersrelocation.com/movingtipsguide.html -offers 20+ moving tips to make your move smoother.
About.com: Moving: http://moving.about.com/od/preparingforyourmove/bb/beforeyoumove.htm offers great tips on several aspects of planning and organizing your move
Moving Checklist:
http://www.century21.com/learn/content.aspx?refstr=6.8.7 offers a moving checklist from two months prior to moving day
Moving Checklist:
http://www.apartmentsearch.com/moving-help/ offers a moving checklist from one month prior to after moving.
Barbara Brady is a Life Transition Coach and author of Make the Right Move Now: Your Personal Relocation Guide. Visit her Web site at: www.mycoachbarbara.com.
Copyright © 2007 Barbara Brady, all rights reserved.
